Healthy, Fun and Firm

So, I'm taking out the package of frozen blueberries from the freezer, and I suddenly actually read the words on the package:

           BLUEBERRIES

      Healthy, Fun and Firm!


Seriously?  My blueberries are writing their eHarmony profile all of sudden?

Fun & firm?  Those are not qualities I want from my blueberries. 

How about

                          Blueberries- we're up to our ass in antioxidants!
or

                         Blueberries....
                                 just sayin'


Don Draper, where are you when we need you?